Learning "Nothing"

This week marks the start of Leonce et Lena, the ballet that will open our season in October. It's a new ballet for us, so the choreographer is here with some help to set the piece. The story is new to me, but it's basically a German comedy. It takes place in two different towns in which the people are supposedly rather bored with life. The music that the choreographer (Christian Spuck) decided to use is all quite popular classical music including a lot of waltzes and polkas, adding a very upbeat element to the production. So it's very interesting because the choreography is supposed to represent boredom, but in order to keep the audience intrigued, he added the surprise of extremely happy music to dance to. Even though it's only been a few days, I can tell that we are going to have a lot of fun in the performances. He has opened the door for some creativity on our part, here and there. So it's easy to see that once we get comfortable with the choreography and acting, we'll be able to do a lot with it.

Me... I'm just getting comfortable with the company still! :) Slowly, but surely things will fall into place. Getting up in the morning and going to work is like opening up another door for information to enter...and that's fine with me.

Coming home is a bit of a different story. I'm not going to lie here. It's difficult to come home to an empty house and figure out what I'm going to do with myself. Of course, I always have tons of projects to accomplish and somehow, they always end up getting put off. Yes, I'm that person that has a lot of ambitions, but they tend to be forgotten somewhere down the road. So today I said, "Get out and do something productive!!!" So I did! I set out with my directions, my bus map, and my iPod and I was ready to go! (this is, of course, after work.) I had planned to take a trip to Pier 1 Imports...always nice to find a well-known furnishings store that's not too expensive. Needless to say, after waiting for quite awhile, I realized that the bus that I originally wanted to take was not in service. Nice. I'm smart.

So I figured I'd just get back on the metro, head back down towards home, and stop at Home Depot on the way. I have a few pieces of wooden furniture that are in dire need of staining and refinishing. But after waiting for ten minutes at the bus stop, I realized it was getting late and I didn't feel like starting another trek. I also knew that as soon as I got home, I would start on that project, hence pushing dinner back to probably 10, bedtime to 1:30/2am, and I am not a good dancer/learner after 5 hours of sleep. Some people can do it, and I believe I used to be one of them, but girl's gettin' old!

Why the heck am I sharing this anyways? I suppose I'm just trying to fill the day with some sort of purpose. I like going to bed at night knowing that I've accomplished something. But I think I need to learn that accomplishing nothing IS accomplishing something! It's ok to do nothing...I think. It must be............

I went to see Eat, Pray, Love this weekend and although I (of course) didn't like it as much as the book, I appreciate the reminder of the gifts and lessons I received from the book itself. There's a part when she's in Italy that represents this lesson I think I'm supposed to understand right now. She's talking to her Italian friend, and he says that Italians know and appreciate the ability to do nothing. It's almost as if doing nothing is part of their culture! Well, then she goes to India to learn the ancient practice of meditation...and essentially that's kind of doing nothing as well! Notice thought through an introspective approach. Maybe that's what I need to do while I'm here.

I just started reading this book called Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. Of course there's accounts of his meditations and it's quite inspiring to read about the gifts he receives when he lifts his thoughts up to his higher self, or God, I suppose in other words. Connecting on a more spiritual sense. Letting go of self, of ego. I would truly love to experience this, but I also know it is hard work. It's not easy to acknowledge your thoughts without judging them. But I think that's the first step. You have to acknowledge your thoughts to realize that you are NOT your thoughts. You are not your emotions. You simply ARE.

Well, I honestly don't even know if I can go on from this point. I must have gotten to the point I was meant to get to when I sat down to right this. I apologize for the randomness of it. I'm sure it may even be slightly boring to read, but oh well! Those are my thoughts for the day!