There have been quite a few events the past few months that have lead me to believe that there most certainly is a God or force of good that looks after us all the time, whether we realize it or not. I mean the course my life has taken this year has without a doubt been directed entirely by the man upstairs. I am simply baffled (for lack of a better word) by the events that have occurred, particularly this one....
So at the moment, I am sort of in between destinations waiting for I'm not sure what to happen to initiate my final move up to Montreal. Yesterday, Pete and I finally decided that we absolutely HAD to figure out our reservations considering the original plan was to fly up there a week from today. So we arrive at the Starbucks with internet :) and begin our search. Of course, the flights have raised in price compared to what they were a few days ago. I expected this, but what's a girl to do? I almost feel like I've been waiting for some "miracle" to happen and I'll have the money in my account to move forward. I'm not joking when I say that I feel like my entire summer has consisted of months of these moments. So by this point, I've actually figured out that somehow things work out when I let it go and let God.
So I suppose in some weird way, that's what this "waiting" period was. I've had a few freak out moments (Pete will second that!) but for the most part, I've been trying to learn how to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. As soon as it seems like there's no answer in sight, SOMETHING happens. EVERYtime!! One of those small miracles.
Ok, finally I reach my point. Kim, a hero of mine who also happens to be my mom, suggested looking at train tickets. Pete seems to be a veteran at taking the train nowadays, but I certainly am not. I still love the convenience of arriving somewhere the same day that I leave. However, if it means saving a hundred dollars or so, then I'm all in! So we look at train tickets, and they are significantly cheaper. The catch was that we'd have to stop in New York City and in order to transfer to the correct train up to Montreal, we'd have to stay overnight. Problem. Although we know quite a few people in New York, numerous of them have traveled up to Saratoga and others have tiny little places that I would feel terrible crashing in with enough luggage to equate two more people. Just as I was about to post a Facebook status update asking if anyone would mind if we stayed with them for one night, I remembered that my amazing friend Stephen would be traveling home through Montreal from his trip to Europe. By the way, congratulations to Callie and Didier who are having an amazing little Swiss wedding which is the reason Stephen was over there to begin with!!! ANYways, so Stephen's parents are driving up from Glens Falls, NY to Montreal to pick him up at the airport. What date? That's right...THEEE day Pete and I were talking about going to Montreal. And YES, there is a train that we can take straight up to Glens Falls to stay with them for a night and then travel to Canada with them!! I called Mary, Stephen's amazing mother, and ran this plan by her. Her response was, "I can't wait to see you!" What an angel. And what a miracle this was. Pete and I are saving hundreds of dollars by choosing this option. I don't need to explain the poverty of a person in our profession during the summer months. It's literally a God-sent blessing that we are able to take advantage of this wonderfully presented plan. I think we both jumped up and down for a good minute when we realized what a miracle we had just witnessed.
Now I officially have five more days in the states before I begin my new adventures in Canada. I'm extremely nervous, but enjoying every minute of these last few days here in the summertime. And also enjoying watching each miracle play itself out.
Thank you, God!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Peace Of Mind In Pennsylvania
Right now, I think I may be in the most peaceful place I could possibly be at the moment. I just took an amazing bath in a fantastically large jacuzzi bathtub. And yes, I definitely started singing “Kiss” by Prince just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman! Never mind, I totally lied about that. But the idea crossed my mind! Needless to say, it was absolutely gorgeous.
Let me explain. So like I said before, I'm currently in Pennsylvania at Pete's mom's. She has this rather large older house that has an enormous amount of history tagged onto it. She just informed me the other night that during the Civil War, the Confederates came through and burned down the town just blocks from her house. Somehow, her block and East (I think) were saved. So people that had lost their homes all piled into this home. Like I said, it's rather large and she said supposedly every square foot was covered with sleeping people who had lost their homes. Normally, this would have creeped me out, but for some reason it has given me a true sense of appreciation AND inspiration actually. The house itself is gorgeous and the history behind it is even more fascinating. The floor is the original wood flooring....the house was built in 1857 I think she said. There's an incredible marble fireplace that is in the dining room that is also original. I'm just completely in love with this.
Lavinia also has quite the green thumb and has built an insanely beautiful garden in her backyard. The peace and serenity that exists in this setting is unreal. It has been such a relief to sip my coffee in leisure on her back porch while NOT having to pack boxes!
…......long pause, because I went to bed, woke up the next day, went to bed, woke up again the next day...........................................and then finally drove over to Starbucks to finish this entry!......
She lives right next to a railroad track, so occasionally the powerful rumble of a train screams by and invigorates my spirit. It's actually quite incredible because right to that gorgeous garden in her backyard is the industrial backdrop of the train tracks. Talk about a scene for a photograph. I've gone camera crazy since I've been here. The sunsets are spectacular and when the sun's rays seep through the leaves of the trees, it almost brings me to tears.
Yesterday, Pete and I woke up early and walked downtown to the farmer's market. I felt like I was at home! I would LOVE to buy all of my groceries from local farmers. I bought a loaf of homemade fresh wheat bread with absolutely no preservatives, two tall bunches of beautiful mint, and two thick pieces of squash. I would have purchased all of my groceries for the week, but we'd already gone to the grocery store. I'm really hoping the Montreal will be graced with the presence of these wonderful farmer's markets so I can support locally grown produce. That would just make my move that much more exciting to me! (it's the little things, right?)
Really though, right now I feel a little lost in time. This place makes me focus on the moment only. Lavinia does have cable, but I rarely want to watch television when it's as gorgeous as it is outside. We must go to the local Starbucks to retrieve any internet access. (yes, I'm sitting at one and drinking my Americano as I write this) But most of the time, I'm “unplugged” and I'm loving it! It's giving me the chance to enjoy every moment placed before me and I'm so grateful for that.
Although, I am still trying to remember NOT to procrastinate on my responsibilities. This seems almost too easy for me to do right now. But there are so many things to still prepare for...changing banks, figuring out phone, cable, internet access for my apartment, and I'm sure I'll find another hurdle to jump over in the next day or so. But as I'm quickly figuring out, that's how life is. Just gotta roll with the punches!
Let me explain. So like I said before, I'm currently in Pennsylvania at Pete's mom's. She has this rather large older house that has an enormous amount of history tagged onto it. She just informed me the other night that during the Civil War, the Confederates came through and burned down the town just blocks from her house. Somehow, her block and East (I think) were saved. So people that had lost their homes all piled into this home. Like I said, it's rather large and she said supposedly every square foot was covered with sleeping people who had lost their homes. Normally, this would have creeped me out, but for some reason it has given me a true sense of appreciation AND inspiration actually. The house itself is gorgeous and the history behind it is even more fascinating. The floor is the original wood flooring....the house was built in 1857 I think she said. There's an incredible marble fireplace that is in the dining room that is also original. I'm just completely in love with this.
Lavinia also has quite the green thumb and has built an insanely beautiful garden in her backyard. The peace and serenity that exists in this setting is unreal. It has been such a relief to sip my coffee in leisure on her back porch while NOT having to pack boxes!
…......long pause, because I went to bed, woke up the next day, went to bed, woke up again the next day...........................................and then finally drove over to Starbucks to finish this entry!......
She lives right next to a railroad track, so occasionally the powerful rumble of a train screams by and invigorates my spirit. It's actually quite incredible because right to that gorgeous garden in her backyard is the industrial backdrop of the train tracks. Talk about a scene for a photograph. I've gone camera crazy since I've been here. The sunsets are spectacular and when the sun's rays seep through the leaves of the trees, it almost brings me to tears.
Yesterday, Pete and I woke up early and walked downtown to the farmer's market. I felt like I was at home! I would LOVE to buy all of my groceries from local farmers. I bought a loaf of homemade fresh wheat bread with absolutely no preservatives, two tall bunches of beautiful mint, and two thick pieces of squash. I would have purchased all of my groceries for the week, but we'd already gone to the grocery store. I'm really hoping the Montreal will be graced with the presence of these wonderful farmer's markets so I can support locally grown produce. That would just make my move that much more exciting to me! (it's the little things, right?)
Really though, right now I feel a little lost in time. This place makes me focus on the moment only. Lavinia does have cable, but I rarely want to watch television when it's as gorgeous as it is outside. We must go to the local Starbucks to retrieve any internet access. (yes, I'm sitting at one and drinking my Americano as I write this) But most of the time, I'm “unplugged” and I'm loving it! It's giving me the chance to enjoy every moment placed before me and I'm so grateful for that.
Although, I am still trying to remember NOT to procrastinate on my responsibilities. This seems almost too easy for me to do right now. But there are so many things to still prepare for...changing banks, figuring out phone, cable, internet access for my apartment, and I'm sure I'll find another hurdle to jump over in the next day or so. But as I'm quickly figuring out, that's how life is. Just gotta roll with the punches!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Heading North
Well, today's the day. I officially move out of Miami. Yesterday, the movers came and picked up my stuff...hoping that all will go smoothly and trying not to have too much anxiety about it! As Kyra would say, "It's what it is!" I've been learning how to take on step at a time, reminding me of that silly claymation movie I love sooooo much. "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"...haha! A young Santa sings an inspirational song to the Abominal Snowman about "Putting One Foot In Front of the Other". I have actually been singing that song to myself a lot recently. It's amazing the things we remember from our childhood. I used to laugh so much about that song, but it actually perfectly applies to my life at the moment!
Anyways, here we goooooooo!! Off to Chambersburg to see my lovey and then we'll take it from there. Hopefully, I'll be able to time it right and arrive around the same time as my boxes and furniture in Montreal. And MAYBE find a decently priced flight along with that:)
Just a quick update, but I must finish this book sitting next to me right now so I can leave it here...my luggage is stuffed to the brim!!!
Bon voyage!
Anyways, here we goooooooo!! Off to Chambersburg to see my lovey and then we'll take it from there. Hopefully, I'll be able to time it right and arrive around the same time as my boxes and furniture in Montreal. And MAYBE find a decently priced flight along with that:)
Just a quick update, but I must finish this book sitting next to me right now so I can leave it here...my luggage is stuffed to the brim!!!
Bon voyage!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Is Home Where The Heart Is?
I don't even know where to begin with this one. It's been awhile, but things seem to move sooo slowly right now!
Something interesting. So last week, as with the rest of what seems to be my life right now, I was trying to decide what to do with this weird month that I have to myself. Being that I am moving to Canada in one month, my options are somewhat limited. Time is not an issue ...for once. Money is! Go figure...after exhausting what I think to be every option possible, it's going to cost me a crazy amount of money to move up there. I keep telling myself, it's OK. I'm moving up there to do what I've dreamt of doing this whole year. It's just difficult to pack my life up in boxes and prepare for what WILL be the coldest winter of my entire life! Needless to say, I'm freaking out just a little bit. Not to mention, I'm leaving my favorite soul mate....don't worry, Pete knows what I mean. :)
However, this was my decision so I plan to follow it through. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed, but being the typical vitamin B-deficient woman I am, it's easy to get stressed out. This would probably be the reason for my long hiatus from this website. Not that anyone is really reading this anyways;)
So here I was in my Miami, sitting on my calendar of events and notebook/diary of travel notes I've taken. Mom's here, Dad's there. Richel's wedding's here, and Laguna Dance Theatre's 25th Anniversary Gala is there. Pete's show is here, and his teaching schedule is there. My head is here, but my heart is there...my heart may be there, but my money is WHERE? Yikes, this was a mess. I still am trying to sift through everything. I wish I had the finances and schedule to do everything...or at least be in two places at one time. Can someone work on that please?
One morning, I woke up and decided to throw up a small prayer. "God, maybe you can give me an answer as to what I should do with myself ...by tonight?" Low and behold, by that evening I'd decided to drive up to Georgia to visit Mom for a little over a week. Being in a house full of boxes (sorry to Kyra) was pushing the stress level up and maybe it would help to be away from it all and try to think clearly while sleeping in my childhood bed and having my mom's amazing yellow lab at my feet all day. I think she knew I just wrote that, because she just lifted to her head to show me some special puppy love.
So obviously, I made it up here to Georgia. I've been here for a few days and have about a week left. Pete drove up with me and he took the train up to Chambersburg on Saturday to visit his mom. He'll come back down next week and we'll head home to Miami. That's a weird concept. I've noticed that I call numerous places home since I've moved from California when I was sixteen. Georgia's home...cuz of Mom. :) California will always be home from growing up, and I still got the rest of my amazing family there. Miami is what I think I'll call my original home. That was the first city I truly made MY home in. I had my first apartment there all to myself...no roommates. That's when it became serious. After being there for eight years, I've grown to love this place immensely. There's a sense of oneness I feel waking up early (when I actually do) and walk down the street to get my coffee or when I'm at the beach. It's home for me. I think I'll definitely be back at some point in my life. I still dream about opening a holistic health center there...if I find someone who could show me the business tricks of the trade. :) Not necessarily my cup of tea...maybe I'll start by working in one and see how that goes;)
There is this sense of urgency upon me as I'm desperately trying to finalize my moving plans. I just want to get there and get this move all over with. Get settled. Become acquainted with my new home. But on the other hand, I'm definitely freaking out about leaving the ones I love. I know, thanks to my conversations with Mark, that we have to let go of this sense of ownership. This sense of mine. Those people will always be there, I know. But it has been awhile since I've moved to a new place where I don't know hardly anyone. I know I'll be fine because I have been before, but I'm still extremely nervous about it. I'm moving from sun and beach, to cold and snow. From a place where EVERYONE wants to come visit me and the tropics, to a place where everyone's first comment is "Oh, it's FREEZING up there!" Will I be alone all winter? Should I brace myself for a long winter of hibernating and missing my family and friends? The hardest part is that I know I'm not going to make it out to California to see my family once more before I leave. Airfare is outrageous and the timing is just not good. (So I guess that little bit I mentioned about time up there was a wash.) Preparing for this move is definitely time-consuming and so is a trip to the west coast. A week is the minimum amount of time that seems to work out there seeing everyone and all that jazz. But that's almost too much to ask at this point. So I suppose I just need to suck it up and if it's meant to be, I'll travel out there when I can and maybe I'll have a few visitors along the way too.
So far I've only had one anxiety dream about starting a new job in Montreal. Not too bad eh? Well, I'm surprised by myself! In the meantime I'm moving forward with my studies, doing a bit of yoga, reading one book after another, doing this insanely strong cleanse, cooking up a storm, and getting closer and closer to learning french...hopefully.
C'est la vie!
Something interesting. So last week, as with the rest of what seems to be my life right now, I was trying to decide what to do with this weird month that I have to myself. Being that I am moving to Canada in one month, my options are somewhat limited. Time is not an issue ...for once. Money is! Go figure...after exhausting what I think to be every option possible, it's going to cost me a crazy amount of money to move up there. I keep telling myself, it's OK. I'm moving up there to do what I've dreamt of doing this whole year. It's just difficult to pack my life up in boxes and prepare for what WILL be the coldest winter of my entire life! Needless to say, I'm freaking out just a little bit. Not to mention, I'm leaving my favorite soul mate....don't worry, Pete knows what I mean. :)
However, this was my decision so I plan to follow it through. I'm trying not to get overwhelmed, but being the typical vitamin B-deficient woman I am, it's easy to get stressed out. This would probably be the reason for my long hiatus from this website. Not that anyone is really reading this anyways;)
So here I was in my Miami, sitting on my calendar of events and notebook/diary of travel notes I've taken. Mom's here, Dad's there. Richel's wedding's here, and Laguna Dance Theatre's 25th Anniversary Gala is there. Pete's show is here, and his teaching schedule is there. My head is here, but my heart is there...my heart may be there, but my money is WHERE? Yikes, this was a mess. I still am trying to sift through everything. I wish I had the finances and schedule to do everything...or at least be in two places at one time. Can someone work on that please?
One morning, I woke up and decided to throw up a small prayer. "God, maybe you can give me an answer as to what I should do with myself ...by tonight?" Low and behold, by that evening I'd decided to drive up to Georgia to visit Mom for a little over a week. Being in a house full of boxes (sorry to Kyra) was pushing the stress level up and maybe it would help to be away from it all and try to think clearly while sleeping in my childhood bed and having my mom's amazing yellow lab at my feet all day. I think she knew I just wrote that, because she just lifted to her head to show me some special puppy love.
So obviously, I made it up here to Georgia. I've been here for a few days and have about a week left. Pete drove up with me and he took the train up to Chambersburg on Saturday to visit his mom. He'll come back down next week and we'll head home to Miami. That's a weird concept. I've noticed that I call numerous places home since I've moved from California when I was sixteen. Georgia's home...cuz of Mom. :) California will always be home from growing up, and I still got the rest of my amazing family there. Miami is what I think I'll call my original home. That was the first city I truly made MY home in. I had my first apartment there all to myself...no roommates. That's when it became serious. After being there for eight years, I've grown to love this place immensely. There's a sense of oneness I feel waking up early (when I actually do) and walk down the street to get my coffee or when I'm at the beach. It's home for me. I think I'll definitely be back at some point in my life. I still dream about opening a holistic health center there...if I find someone who could show me the business tricks of the trade. :) Not necessarily my cup of tea...maybe I'll start by working in one and see how that goes;)
There is this sense of urgency upon me as I'm desperately trying to finalize my moving plans. I just want to get there and get this move all over with. Get settled. Become acquainted with my new home. But on the other hand, I'm definitely freaking out about leaving the ones I love. I know, thanks to my conversations with Mark, that we have to let go of this sense of ownership. This sense of mine. Those people will always be there, I know. But it has been awhile since I've moved to a new place where I don't know hardly anyone. I know I'll be fine because I have been before, but I'm still extremely nervous about it. I'm moving from sun and beach, to cold and snow. From a place where EVERYONE wants to come visit me and the tropics, to a place where everyone's first comment is "Oh, it's FREEZING up there!" Will I be alone all winter? Should I brace myself for a long winter of hibernating and missing my family and friends? The hardest part is that I know I'm not going to make it out to California to see my family once more before I leave. Airfare is outrageous and the timing is just not good. (So I guess that little bit I mentioned about time up there was a wash.) Preparing for this move is definitely time-consuming and so is a trip to the west coast. A week is the minimum amount of time that seems to work out there seeing everyone and all that jazz. But that's almost too much to ask at this point. So I suppose I just need to suck it up and if it's meant to be, I'll travel out there when I can and maybe I'll have a few visitors along the way too.
So far I've only had one anxiety dream about starting a new job in Montreal. Not too bad eh? Well, I'm surprised by myself! In the meantime I'm moving forward with my studies, doing a bit of yoga, reading one book after another, doing this insanely strong cleanse, cooking up a storm, and getting closer and closer to learning french...hopefully.
C'est la vie!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
The amazing Kyra, and a little on New York
Let's see, so I lied. I definitely didn't continue that last one on the next day. Oops. Well, there's a good reason for that...kind of. I have been on the computer for the last two days almost straight, looking at information on moving to Canada. There is so much to be done! I'm trying to figure out what the most cost-effective way of moving will be...there are some things that I'm not quite ready to get rid of, but on the other hand, it might be nice to start fresh. So many decisions!
The thing is, I just moved in with Kyra last year and that was certainly a cleansing experience! Moving from my own small studio apartment to living in a living room (and that is NOT a bad thing, trust me!) was quite a change! It was honestly the best decision I ever made. With the downturn of the economy and Kyra changing her lifestyle from full-time ballerina to nursing student and ballet teacher, we both decided it was time to help each other out. That's what friends are for anyways, right? We are both independent people, and were nervous about having roommates again. However, we have always gotten along very well and it just seemed like God wanted us to support each other through this time. Well, not only did I decrease my rent tremendously, but I was helping her out with her mortgage by paying her rent, AND I rid myself of A LOT of possessions I realized I didn't need! It was definitely a nice fresh change. I learned how to live in small spaces, became MUCH more organized (who wants to see piles of old pictures, left over Christmas decor, and pointless junk lying around while sipping a glass of wine in someone's living room anyways?) Okay, well I'm not THAT organized I guess, because I definitely still have some piles of old mail that I need to constantly search through, but HEY! I'm getting better...those piles are a lot shorter than they used to get!
Seriously though, living with Kyra this year has been such a learning experience and has helped me grow tremendously. The way that she has approached this massive change in her life has been with nothing but fearless faith and grace! She gets up almost every morning before dawn, goes to school for a few hours, comes home and studies, goes to teach until 8:30 at night sometimes, and then comes home and studies more until she can't keep her eyes open. (We all know how easily this one can fall asleep!) :) Then she gets up the next day and does it all over again! AND somehow, she still manages to find time to socialize with her friends, make awesome lasagna every so often, choreograph little routines for her young students, and volunteer at church on the weekends. This lifestyle is completely different from that of a dancer...go to work everyday, practically in pajamas, and wait for your moment to shine whether it be in rehearsal or onstage. It's the same routine day in day out, and don't get me wrong. It can be quite exhausting! You can be rehearsing for six hours straight for 5 days in a row and then have performances during the weekend where you are quite possibly in every single ballet. Who has time for school or a social life?
Okay, that's going a little far because I have seen some dancers do it. But I guess what my point is, is that sometimes a change of lifestyle makes you realize what's important in life. Ballet can be so self-absorbed, you easily forget about everything and everyone else but yourself...I need my sleep before this show, I need to get up early to warm up and prepare myself for my day, I need Monday to go to the doctors and do my chores so I don't have to worry about it during the week, I don't have time to meet with someone for coffee or a drink (I'll just see them at the studios anyways), church is too early for me to get up on Sundays! I mean, while this is all important yes because it comes with the territory, I'm just sayin' that it's easy to get wrapped up in ourselves and our routines. Kyra's schedule changes from day to day and the grace that she has had while handling all of it has truly amazed me...and inspired me! And she's so happy! We hardly ever see each other because of our different schedules, but when I walk in the door and see her smiling face, it's like a breath of fresh air because I know how happy she is in this new chapter in her life. Honestly, seeing that has prepared me for this change that I'm about to embark on. It truly has made me see once again, that God's timing is perfect! There's a reason that that cheesy saying "Everything happens for a reason" exists! I mean, I had no idea how I was going to handle having a roommate again and look where it's gotten me! I feel that much more confident now about moving to a different city and exploring something new and different that I haven't seen yet...ever! All this was made possible by my amazing roommate and her schedule-jumbling skills that I have had the pleasure of witnessing for an entire year.
So I didn't continue on my experiences in New York...sorry. I guess I should touch on that a bit for my family's sake. Half of the reason I started this blog was to update them on my life.
SOoooooooooooo.....
ummmm......
Nothing is coming because I'm still so overwhelmed with how awesome my roommate is! I'm going to miss her so much!....and her lasagna. Shoot, I gotta learn how she makes that.
Well, let's just say that I went up there for an audition and it went really well. I am not a fan of cattle call auditions (open auditions) and there were over 100 girls there, but somehow I made every single cut. Someone actually showed interest in me and I was pleasantly surprised. Something kept me there the whole time...God?
I really think so actually because I felt like a complete fool during the auditions. I'm SUCH a ballet dancer, and seeing so many well-versed contemporary dancers there was slightly intimidating. But I just kept closing my eyes, trying to stay focused, and remembered why I was there...to learn. To take a step out of my comfort zone and see where exactly I stood in the contemporary dance world. It's always good to get some perspective. Needless to say, I was in there with one of my favorite So You Think You Can Dance winners and it took me all I could to focus on the choreography and not watch her the whole time! haha...
So somehow, I ended up being one of four girls left at the end. I had the privilege of working with Desmond Richardson and Dwight Rhoden with just a few others in the room. As much as I've heard about these two, I've never had the chance to work with them so this in itself was pretty inspiring. We worked with partners, which definitely almost made me shit myself because I haven't partnered with anyone in a long time. And I'm tall!! There's a lot to deal with here! :) I'm just sayin'....
But there's something quite liberating working with someone you've never met before and especially when you're both there for the same reason. The drive we both had to get a job created this.... determined energy. You feel the person's energy and you can bounce off of it...it's awesome! When one person feels insecure in one part, the other may not, and consequently there's this EVEN energy that amounts. You can feel the confidence in the other person and it is passed on to you. Does this make any sense? It's difficult to put this in words. Well, I was blessed to work with this great guy who really kept me calm. Once we got the hang of things and got used to each other's energies, it was fantastic! He kept telling me to trust him, and once I was able to do so, everything just flowed beautifully. We worked together for maybe an hour, but I felt more comfortable working with him than I have working with some people for weeks! But I'm convinced it's because we both had the same intentions...we just wanted to learn while we were there, whether it amounted to a job or not. It was such a positive learning experience even though they didn't offer me anything in the end.
However, on a side note they DID tell me how much they loved my height and length! Do you know how good it feels to hear that from someone you've worked with for just a couple of days? Zero labels. Just genuine appreciation. To me, this equals the permission to feel liberated! Cheers to that, kids!!!
The thing is, I just moved in with Kyra last year and that was certainly a cleansing experience! Moving from my own small studio apartment to living in a living room (and that is NOT a bad thing, trust me!) was quite a change! It was honestly the best decision I ever made. With the downturn of the economy and Kyra changing her lifestyle from full-time ballerina to nursing student and ballet teacher, we both decided it was time to help each other out. That's what friends are for anyways, right? We are both independent people, and were nervous about having roommates again. However, we have always gotten along very well and it just seemed like God wanted us to support each other through this time. Well, not only did I decrease my rent tremendously, but I was helping her out with her mortgage by paying her rent, AND I rid myself of A LOT of possessions I realized I didn't need! It was definitely a nice fresh change. I learned how to live in small spaces, became MUCH more organized (who wants to see piles of old pictures, left over Christmas decor, and pointless junk lying around while sipping a glass of wine in someone's living room anyways?) Okay, well I'm not THAT organized I guess, because I definitely still have some piles of old mail that I need to constantly search through, but HEY! I'm getting better...those piles are a lot shorter than they used to get!
Seriously though, living with Kyra this year has been such a learning experience and has helped me grow tremendously. The way that she has approached this massive change in her life has been with nothing but fearless faith and grace! She gets up almost every morning before dawn, goes to school for a few hours, comes home and studies, goes to teach until 8:30 at night sometimes, and then comes home and studies more until she can't keep her eyes open. (We all know how easily this one can fall asleep!) :) Then she gets up the next day and does it all over again! AND somehow, she still manages to find time to socialize with her friends, make awesome lasagna every so often, choreograph little routines for her young students, and volunteer at church on the weekends. This lifestyle is completely different from that of a dancer...go to work everyday, practically in pajamas, and wait for your moment to shine whether it be in rehearsal or onstage. It's the same routine day in day out, and don't get me wrong. It can be quite exhausting! You can be rehearsing for six hours straight for 5 days in a row and then have performances during the weekend where you are quite possibly in every single ballet. Who has time for school or a social life?
Okay, that's going a little far because I have seen some dancers do it. But I guess what my point is, is that sometimes a change of lifestyle makes you realize what's important in life. Ballet can be so self-absorbed, you easily forget about everything and everyone else but yourself...I need my sleep before this show, I need to get up early to warm up and prepare myself for my day, I need Monday to go to the doctors and do my chores so I don't have to worry about it during the week, I don't have time to meet with someone for coffee or a drink (I'll just see them at the studios anyways), church is too early for me to get up on Sundays! I mean, while this is all important yes because it comes with the territory, I'm just sayin' that it's easy to get wrapped up in ourselves and our routines. Kyra's schedule changes from day to day and the grace that she has had while handling all of it has truly amazed me...and inspired me! And she's so happy! We hardly ever see each other because of our different schedules, but when I walk in the door and see her smiling face, it's like a breath of fresh air because I know how happy she is in this new chapter in her life. Honestly, seeing that has prepared me for this change that I'm about to embark on. It truly has made me see once again, that God's timing is perfect! There's a reason that that cheesy saying "Everything happens for a reason" exists! I mean, I had no idea how I was going to handle having a roommate again and look where it's gotten me! I feel that much more confident now about moving to a different city and exploring something new and different that I haven't seen yet...ever! All this was made possible by my amazing roommate and her schedule-jumbling skills that I have had the pleasure of witnessing for an entire year.
So I didn't continue on my experiences in New York...sorry. I guess I should touch on that a bit for my family's sake. Half of the reason I started this blog was to update them on my life.
SOoooooooooooo.....
ummmm......
Nothing is coming because I'm still so overwhelmed with how awesome my roommate is! I'm going to miss her so much!....and her lasagna. Shoot, I gotta learn how she makes that.
Well, let's just say that I went up there for an audition and it went really well. I am not a fan of cattle call auditions (open auditions) and there were over 100 girls there, but somehow I made every single cut. Someone actually showed interest in me and I was pleasantly surprised. Something kept me there the whole time...God?
I really think so actually because I felt like a complete fool during the auditions. I'm SUCH a ballet dancer, and seeing so many well-versed contemporary dancers there was slightly intimidating. But I just kept closing my eyes, trying to stay focused, and remembered why I was there...to learn. To take a step out of my comfort zone and see where exactly I stood in the contemporary dance world. It's always good to get some perspective. Needless to say, I was in there with one of my favorite So You Think You Can Dance winners and it took me all I could to focus on the choreography and not watch her the whole time! haha...
So somehow, I ended up being one of four girls left at the end. I had the privilege of working with Desmond Richardson and Dwight Rhoden with just a few others in the room. As much as I've heard about these two, I've never had the chance to work with them so this in itself was pretty inspiring. We worked with partners, which definitely almost made me shit myself because I haven't partnered with anyone in a long time. And I'm tall!! There's a lot to deal with here! :) I'm just sayin'....
But there's something quite liberating working with someone you've never met before and especially when you're both there for the same reason. The drive we both had to get a job created this.... determined energy. You feel the person's energy and you can bounce off of it...it's awesome! When one person feels insecure in one part, the other may not, and consequently there's this EVEN energy that amounts. You can feel the confidence in the other person and it is passed on to you. Does this make any sense? It's difficult to put this in words. Well, I was blessed to work with this great guy who really kept me calm. Once we got the hang of things and got used to each other's energies, it was fantastic! He kept telling me to trust him, and once I was able to do so, everything just flowed beautifully. We worked together for maybe an hour, but I felt more comfortable working with him than I have working with some people for weeks! But I'm convinced it's because we both had the same intentions...we just wanted to learn while we were there, whether it amounted to a job or not. It was such a positive learning experience even though they didn't offer me anything in the end.
However, on a side note they DID tell me how much they loved my height and length! Do you know how good it feels to hear that from someone you've worked with for just a couple of days? Zero labels. Just genuine appreciation. To me, this equals the permission to feel liberated! Cheers to that, kids!!!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Forsythe in the Big Apple
First of all, I'd like to say that The Black Keys' new album (Brothers) is amazing. I'm listening to it at the moment...thanks, Rhapsody.....and I highly recommend. Normally leaning towards a more dirty guitar bluesy sound, this album has a little more jazzy funk to it. At least in my opinion. It's definitely different from previous albums, but I have NEVER been disappointed with their work. It's kind of awesome to find a band that never ceases to amaze me even when their work expands to a different level. And live.....WOW. UNREAL! check 'em out guys. I don't think you'll be disappointed.
Sooooooo, it's been a week. Shoot. It's been a crazy week! Where do I start?
I've had loads of inspiration fired at me in very short amounts of time. I believe having loads of time to myself has lead to this. I'm finally on my own schedule. It's amazing how this freedom alone makes me feel like a different person. Somehow, I'd like to learn how to discover this contentment in the midst of a busy work-week or season.
Well, it looks like I've been given the chance to work on that next season. I was offered a job in Montreal! I think I've honestly been in denial for a week. I can't believe something is happening right now. I thought I might have to wait things out for awhile. Honestly, I was ok with that. My life has been a series of waiting games. Patience is obviously something God wants me to learn. Thanks. But seriously, this was a giant slap in the face reality check...I GOT A JOB!!! I GOT A JOB!!! what???
In the meantime, I still had one more audition to finish before I could truly settle in on this thought, this place. So I headed up to New York to visit friends and take care of business. I have to say that it took a lot for me to get excited about this trip. I've taken a few trips recently, and the thought of going to another audition when I already had something lined up seemed...secondary I suppose. However, I had plans and I intended to see them through. Besides, my handsome better half decided to accompany me on this trip. What awesome moral support he provided!
Well this decision soon proved to be yet another one of my better ones. Let me explain. Since I began this entire process of moving onto a "different" type of movement, I've been exploring many different styles and struggling to truly identify what I needed. (Leave it to New York City to provide the answers.)
There's this woman named Jill Johnson who teaches these Forsythe workshops on a regular basis in New York, usually once a month. William Forsythe (for those that don't know) is a choreographer who has developed a specific philosophy of movement/dance. By the way, I like the word movement better because it sounds more organic to me. I believe anyone can move and dance, but sometimes that word gets in the way because it has a reputation (at least for me) of meaning trained, sculptured, pretty? ANYWAYS, so Forsythe has passed his knowledge on to many of his dancers who have now gone on to teach others. So this amazing lady just so happened to be holding a workshop in New York the day before my audition. Cheers to that!
So I attended this three hour workshop that changed my life. I have finally found this freedom of movement and organic approach to dancing that I've been looking for forever! The class was based on Forsythe's fundamentals for improv. It's all about describing shapes in space. Sound abstract? You know when you do the limbo? Well take that stick away, but still imagine that line there. How would you move underneath it? Over it? How would you describe that line with your body? It's like imagining that different parts of your body have ink on them and you want to draw that line into space. You can use your hand, or your elbow, or your shoulder, knees, butt, nose, the list is endless. I know, it's really hard for me to explain this without showing you. But I bet if you looked up some of this on YouTube, I'm sure you'd find a bunch of videos. Needless to say, this class gave me a basis to jump off from and find a purpose in improv. It made me see even moreso how dancing is an artform. Instead of painting something on canvas, I'm using my body as a brush and painting shapes into space. The options are limitless! She gave us an idea, and let us go from there. It opens up this door of creativity that doesn't ever have to close again! And the best part is, YOU choose where you want to go! Almost two hours of improv was inspiring, thought provoking, curious, and humbling all at the same time. I was hooked!
And from here on out, I do have much more to say. However, I am finding that my mind is failing me. Being a true Vata type (more on that later) I wish I could just push my way through this. But Lord knows I need some sleep. So.....
To be Continued.....
Monday, May 10, 2010
What's with the name?
...so you may ask.
First and foremost, HI! Welcome to my blog...(hi, mom). :) Thanks to a conversation with my dad the other day, I decided to start this blog. Well, I have been following a few of my friends' blogs recently as well, and realized it's a great way to keep family and friends updated. There's just too much to say sometimes and it's hard to properly update everyone when you feel like what you have to say takes an hour! Don't get me wrong, I believe strongly still in communication via voice...whether through skype or telephone! Our generation has started this link into a very impersonal world, and some of us must keep the old traditions afloat. Think about it...how great does it feel to get a letter or invitation from a friend in the mailbox rather than that 10th reminder for that magazine subscription renewal you never wanted?
All that being said, I still feel like blogging is a great way to possibly connect to others even if it's those you speak to on a daily basis. Each person connects to another in a different way. My mom and I can speak for hours together about our new discoveries in our natural health studies. My dad and I can do the same with our love for photography. But he may not realize how passionate I am about taking that stupid chlorophyll, and she may not know how interested I am in possibly taking a class in photography. :) I want to share these interests with both of them, but maybe the conversation doesn't roll that way.
I think it's an appropriate time to share my inspiration, troubles, thoughts, frustrations, pictures, loves, music playlists....god knows what else! That too...thoughts on god. Transitions are happening slowly but surely right now. This "open journal" dare I say will hopefully be a vessel to communicate with others who might be going through similar circumstances. I will try my best to write with honesty, even if it may not put me in the best light. But as someone once said,
"The truth will set you free."
A-men to that!
Well THAT was a tangent! Anyways, the reason for the title. Growing up, my dad always called me Kristina Nina. It was his way of connecting me to my dancer persona, I suppose? Like an alter-ego or something. I danced around the house a lot, as I'm sure many young dancers do and I'm pretty sure that's where the name started and eventually stuck. When I moved away from home, he still referred to me as Kristina Nina, and eventually, just Nina. It was like a comfort thing to me. "Remember who you are and why you dance," it seemed to say to me. Now I feel like the name reestablishes who I am to myself...where I came from...what I love...what my passions are.
Naturally...well, I guess I chose that for a number of reasons. First, I'm obviously passionate about natural health. Being someone with vitiligo, I quickly got thrown into this world examining all possible causes of the skin pigmentation disorder. It happened by accident really, but I found what I'd like to do with my life after I stop dancing. So, I'm studying nutrition and health right now. Next course will be anatomy and physiology (awesome!). Then herbology. It's this whole other world of amazingness! I'm obsessed...seriously though. Isn't it amazing that we can change our entire body and even genetics by what we eat? Or break a fever by taking garlic instead of Advil? Or take colloidial silver instead of antibiotics?! Or take an amino acid instead of Prozac? And ALL withOUT side effects!! That's just the tip of the iceberg...I'm sure I'll have more to say on that later.
My other reason is, as I said before, I like to be as honest as possible while writing. I love to write with the stream of conciousness. I think it's more interesting. More frank. Maybe a bit longer, because each thought pretty much goes down on paper. But it's more genuine, I think...more
ahhhh....NATURAL.
Cheers to that.
First and foremost, HI! Welcome to my blog...(hi, mom). :) Thanks to a conversation with my dad the other day, I decided to start this blog. Well, I have been following a few of my friends' blogs recently as well, and realized it's a great way to keep family and friends updated. There's just too much to say sometimes and it's hard to properly update everyone when you feel like what you have to say takes an hour! Don't get me wrong, I believe strongly still in communication via voice...whether through skype or telephone! Our generation has started this link into a very impersonal world, and some of us must keep the old traditions afloat. Think about it...how great does it feel to get a letter or invitation from a friend in the mailbox rather than that 10th reminder for that magazine subscription renewal you never wanted?
All that being said, I still feel like blogging is a great way to possibly connect to others even if it's those you speak to on a daily basis. Each person connects to another in a different way. My mom and I can speak for hours together about our new discoveries in our natural health studies. My dad and I can do the same with our love for photography. But he may not realize how passionate I am about taking that stupid chlorophyll, and she may not know how interested I am in possibly taking a class in photography. :) I want to share these interests with both of them, but maybe the conversation doesn't roll that way.
I think it's an appropriate time to share my inspiration, troubles, thoughts, frustrations, pictures, loves, music playlists....god knows what else! That too...thoughts on god. Transitions are happening slowly but surely right now. This "open journal" dare I say will hopefully be a vessel to communicate with others who might be going through similar circumstances. I will try my best to write with honesty, even if it may not put me in the best light. But as someone once said,
"The truth will set you free."
A-men to that!
Well THAT was a tangent! Anyways, the reason for the title. Growing up, my dad always called me Kristina Nina. It was his way of connecting me to my dancer persona, I suppose? Like an alter-ego or something. I danced around the house a lot, as I'm sure many young dancers do and I'm pretty sure that's where the name started and eventually stuck. When I moved away from home, he still referred to me as Kristina Nina, and eventually, just Nina. It was like a comfort thing to me. "Remember who you are and why you dance," it seemed to say to me. Now I feel like the name reestablishes who I am to myself...where I came from...what I love...what my passions are.
Naturally...well, I guess I chose that for a number of reasons. First, I'm obviously passionate about natural health. Being someone with vitiligo, I quickly got thrown into this world examining all possible causes of the skin pigmentation disorder. It happened by accident really, but I found what I'd like to do with my life after I stop dancing. So, I'm studying nutrition and health right now. Next course will be anatomy and physiology (awesome!). Then herbology. It's this whole other world of amazingness! I'm obsessed...seriously though. Isn't it amazing that we can change our entire body and even genetics by what we eat? Or break a fever by taking garlic instead of Advil? Or take colloidial silver instead of antibiotics?! Or take an amino acid instead of Prozac? And ALL withOUT side effects!! That's just the tip of the iceberg...I'm sure I'll have more to say on that later.
My other reason is, as I said before, I like to be as honest as possible while writing. I love to write with the stream of conciousness. I think it's more interesting. More frank. Maybe a bit longer, because each thought pretty much goes down on paper. But it's more genuine, I think...more
ahhhh....NATURAL.
Cheers to that.
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